When you find your husband or partner looking at online dating sites it is fair enough to assume the worst and start packing the bags and phoning the divorce lawyer. However, before any drastic action is taken it is necessary to take a better look at the online dating scene in general and then find out what he was actually doing there – or at least what his intentions were.
Discovering your husbands profile on an online dating site is probably the hardest thing to deal with because you have been taught by society and your own social circle that this instantly means he is cheating. Thoughts of infidelity come to mind and then it becomes hard to really communicate and get to the heart of why he is really looking at and signing up to these types of sites in the first place.
Now let’s look at 3 reasons why he might be looking at internet dating sites
1. There is not enough passion in his existing love life. He’s looking for a little more spice.
It is said that men are from Mars and women are from Venus and when it comes to trying to understand why your man does what he does sometimes, I am sure I do not need to convince you how hard that can be! A contributing factor to why married men look at online dating sites is to do with their own ego – and an instinctive need to spread their seed’ so to speak. This does not mean he literally wants to do so – it is more about the idea and the feeling that he could. Men need to feel in control and this comes into play a lot in scenarios involving married men and online dating sites.
As much as this may seem like a weak excuse – the fact remains that in 9 cases out of 10 the husband never had any intention of ever doing anything beyond ‘looking’ and ‘chatting’ and in actual fact it is the very act of looking in the first place that will more than likely keep him faithful to you for years to come.
2. Your Husband is a Flirt
Some men are just flirtatious by nature and quite simply – the internet dating forums provide a safe place for him to act upon this character trait without too many problems. Generally it is the flirtatious man that will not actually take it any further – and in most cases they are the ones you can trust more anyway (I would say that as I am a flirtatious guy).
What would you rather – that he flirts with people in public and embarrasses you too? or that he keeps it discrete and online.
3.He intends on Cheating
As much as I would love to sugar coat this particular reason for why your husband might be looking at online dating sites – the fact remains that many men are there because they intend on having extra marital relations. Every person is different and for some married men, the thrill of an affair is too much to pass up and so the online option is the easiest and most discrete one for him to take.
There are many reasons why he is thinking this way and a lot of the time it can be resolved without the need to get the courts involved. Many times this can be seen as an opportunity to find out what is not working in the marriage and perhaps bring things back to how they once were. There is a lot of online dating advice that you can read that talks about this very topic and it is my recommendation that you do some homework before making any rash decisions.
What your husband is doing looking at dating sites remains to be seen, and whether it was with good intentions or bad ones is actually not what you should be focusing on. The question you need to ask is why – and you honestly need to ask this question together.
Getting to the bottom of what drove your man to the site in the first place can open a lot of doors in your own marriage that would have otherwise remained shut. Take this experience and turn it into something that will help your marriage grow – not something that will further pull you apart.