Talking to your ex girlfriend after a breakup can be a little weird. How do you approach her? What do you say? What should not you say? If you are not sure how to talk to your ex girlfriend, check out these 3 tips to get you on your way to beginning to communicate with her again.
Note: If you have just broken up with your girlfriend you should wait and give her some time to clear her head before you try to talk to her about things. I know it is difficult, but if you approach her too soon it can blow up in your face. Wait awhile and focus on your own life … hang out with friends, start doing some of the things you used to do before you started dating, exercise and just take care of yourself for awhile. By giving her enough space when you first break up you will stand a much better chance of getting her back in the long run.
When you eventually do talk to your ex girlfriend again, these tips should help you make it as easy as possible for both of you.
Try to Meet with Her in Person
Talking face to face with your ex girlfriend is a much better option than talking over the phone or through email. When you meet with her she will be able to see in your eyes whether you are being sincere or not and she will know that you mean what you are saying.
Not only that, but if you plan to meet in a place that holds special memories for the two of you it can help to remind her why you fell in love in the first place. Invite her for a cup of coffee at your favorite coffee house, or meet for lunch at your favorite restaurant.
Avoid Being Bitter, Angry or Blaming
When a girl breaks up with you it can bring up a lot of bad emotions … bitterness, anger or pain. When you meet with your ex avoid any of these negative feelings and instead speak rationally, calmly and reasonably about the situation. Even if you disagree with what she is saying, staying calm and collected and acting in a rational manner will get your point across much better than yelling or blaming.
When you speak out of anger you can seem childish and immature. Keeping your cool will show your girlfriend that you are behaving in a very adult way and she will be much more likely to respect and listen to what you are saying.
Tell Her How You Feel … But Go Easy
When you talk to your ex girlfriend it is OK to tell her how you feel. My disclaimer, however, is that you should not whine, beg, plead, tell her how you can not live without her, etc. If you come across as desperate, needy or clingy it can actually drive your ex girlfriend further away.
Instead, try telling her you miss her and then move on and talk about other things that you both enjoy. The idea is for her to leave with the feeling that she had a good time and to start to remember all the things she loved about you. Not to make her feel guilty, uncomfortable or weird about seeing you again.