So it’s time. You finally figured out how to get a date. But now you need to know what to do on the first date. This is a nerve-wracking moment for almost all men, and rightfully so. It’s tantamount to a job interview in the sense that if you screw up, you don’t move onto the next round. However, if you ace it and make a wonderful impression, the next round is not only guaranteed, but nearly impossible to mess up. And from there, the possibilities are endless. You can either have a wonderful woman in your life to enjoy for casual dating/sex or a girlfriend to share a meaningful relationship with.
Here are 7 first date tips all of equal important that will help you succeed and virtually guarantee you a second date with your woman.
1) Location. Don’t be one of those guys that tries too hard to impress a woman on the first date. This is the first outing after all, and I’ve mentioned this before but will repeat it again: women are not impressed by money or looks. Because of this principle, you have to choose a venue that is convenient, cheap, and fun. My personal all-time favorite is coffee. You can never go wrong with a coffee outing. It says all the right things about you: that you’re not needy or putting pressure on the girl for anything more, and that you simply want to get to know her first before you choose to pursue anything more or not. But don’t choose Starbucks or Caribou Coffee or any other popular, well-known chain. Show off your creativity here, she’ll be impressed trust me. Go with a quirky place that’s quaint, quiet, and colorful. Every city has a bunch of these awesome coffee shops, just use Google and find one nearby. Other alternatives to coffee can be a smoothie shop, bowling, miniature golf, or shopping. As long as you find a place with built-in conversation that’s fun, cheap, and equally convenient to both of you, then you really can’t go wrong.
2) Conversation. This is the department that really matters. The one where you have to actually put in some effort. But if you follow what I’m about to share with you, it will be really easy. First, you should pretend that you are going on a date with either your best friend or your bratty little sister. As awkward as that sounds, this is the MOST effective approach. See The Mindset You Should Have Around Women for more clarity. So how do you behave around your best friend? You say whatever’s on your mind, you joke around, tease them, and generally act like yourself. You need to take this approach and transfer it over to your date. Pretend that hot woman sitting across from you is actually your best friend who you’re super comfortable with. When you do this, she in turn will feel comfortable, receptive, and naturally open up to you. So many guys go into a date and chat away about their jobs, or how good of a guy they are, or what they drive. They ask boring questions like ‘What do you do for a living?’ or ‘How many siblings do you have?’ DON’T do this. You’ll only bore your date half to death. Be different and unique here. Attraction happens when there is saucy, interesting conversation. The key here is to be light-hearted but playful. Some ideas and topics you can talk about are pop culture (i.e., ‘What’s up with the Jersey Shore cast making so much more money than everyone else? That should be a crime.’), things you like to do (i.e., ‘I love scuba diving and watching football with my friends on Sundays, what about you. What do you like to do for fun?’), drama (‘So the craziest thing happened the other day… one of my friends’ girlfriend went through his phone while he was sleeping and found about 50 text messages sent to his ex behind her back’). Use your imagination here and be creative. Speak to her emotions and not to her logical self. Also, don’t forget to tease her and make fun of her. Do so in the mildest manner possible. Do not under any circumstances make fun of anything she should genuinely be insecure about. For example, if she has a crooked nose, it’s probably wise not to make reference to it in any way. Or if she’s chubby, do not make any jokes about her weight. It’s much better to tease her about her accessories, her clothing, or her hair. For example, if she’s wearing hoops as earrings, you can say something like ‘Those are some big earrings you have on, do you make tigers jump through them like they do in the circus?’ You’ll probably get a laugh and a playful tap on the arm for this. Keep it up and you’re gold. Feel free to bring up anything on your mind (except for taboo topics, use your common sense). Sex is not a taboo topic here and can be talked about openly but I would recommend not bringing it up until she does first. If she does bring up sex, talk about it openly, but first make fun of her for being a pervert and wanting to sleep with you. Another great idea is to show her cool apps on your phone (you DO have a smart phone, don’t you?). Not only is this fun, but it’s a fool-proof way to keep the energy going if you run out of things to talk about.
3) Punctual. Yes, timing is important. Don’t show up to the date early or late but it is important that you show up on time. If you tell her to meet you at 7:00, then be a man of your word and show up at 7:00. First impressions are important so don’t give her the vibe that you’re overly eager by being early or irresponsible by being late.
4) Dress. Being good looking is not important but making the most of your looks is. Before your date, you definitely need to make sure your hygiene is in check. That means you should shower, brush your teeth, floss, spray on some good cologne (not too much), and dress nice. Make sure your shoes and belt much. Do not go overboard in the dress department. I recommend looking ‘casual nice’. If the weather is warm, wear a nice button-up shirt with jeans and dress shoes. If it’s fall or winter, dressing in layers is always great. Try one of these combinations that ladies always find attractive: Leather jacket with a dress shirt and jeans, V-neck cashmere sweater with a dress shirt or T-shirt underneath and jeans, or a blazer jacket with a dress shirt underneath and jeans. Find out what color combinations work best for you. The trick here is not to come off as you are trying too hard to look nice. It’s amazing how confident you feel when you have a sweet outfit on. Make sure your clothes are neat and ironed before you step out the house.
5) Body language. Something like 90% of communication is non-verbal. So it’s definitely true that it’s not as important what you say compared to how you say it. You want to make sure you make good eye-contact with the woman, sit up straight with your shoulders back, keep your legs shoulder-width apart, and take up a lot of space. Give off the impression that you’re relaxed and lean back. Slow down your words and speak in a loud, clear, and confident tone of voice. You don’t want to laugh too much at your own jokes but definitely smile and give a lot of smirks or ‘half-smiles’ after each time you tell a joke or tease her. Always keep your head up and practice on eliminating all nervous ticks and gestures. Women are experts at decoding body language so make sure you get this down before your date. Watch how James Bond behaves and moves in ‘Casino Royale’ for the perfect example of immaculate body language.
6) Lead. It’s no secret that women are attracted to dominant men who lead them. This doesn’t mean being bossy or pushy, but it does mean you should lead the entire time. This happens even before the initial meeting when you set the location and time. When you meet up with your date, tell her where to sit in a mature, gentlemanly manner (‘this table looks inviting, let’s have a seat here’). Also, if you’re ordering, then order for the both of you. (‘let’s go with 2 tall iced Cappuccino’s for you and I and split the tiramisu’). She might object (doubtful) to this, but if she does, stick to your guns anyway. Trust me, she’ll respect you for it afterward. Don’t ever ask for permission on doing something, just do it. Even if you don’t have a clear idea in terms of a decision, just pick the first thing that comes to your head. The more you practice on being assertive and decisive, the more natural it will come. When it’s time for the bill, ask for it and put your credit card or cash in when it comes (if it’s just coffee and/or dessert, it’s okay to pay). And when it’s time to leave, tell her you had a great time and you have to go. Lead her outside of the venue and walk her to her car. It’s up to you if you want to kiss her or not. I usually prefer not to on the first date to build anticipation for the second date, but if you choose to, then just go for it without any hesitation or waiting for her approval. Be the man here on the date and lead the ENTIRE time.
7) Brevity. If it’s the first date, keep it short. When I say short, I mean an hour tops. Even if you two are having the time of your life, it’s your responsibility to end it and see her next time. This leaves her with a great impression of you and also builds anticipation because she’s wondering why you wanted to end it if you two were having such a great time. If you linger around, you run the risk of coming off as needy or having the conversation turn boring. It is a first date after all, so keep it brief and fun and set up a second date later on in the week.