Has this happened to you? The part has been great; you've spent about two hours talking to a good looking, interesting guy. Things are winding down and he asks for your phone number. No problem there. You hand over your business card, or jot down the number on a scrap piece of paper. He says he'll call in a few days. Terrific!
And you never hear from him.
Happens all the time; I've got a surefire technique for seeing that it never happens again. When he asks for your phone number, give it to him and the GET HIS NUMBER!
There is no stock reason to explain why guys do not call. He may have had second thoughts – maybe you're not his type after all. The recurring amnesia about his twenty year marriage and three kids suddenly lifted. Maybe he was just being polite, figuring that you expected him to ask for your number. Perhaps he sent the scrap piece of paper to the dry cleaner with his jacket. A business or family crisis could have intervened. Or it could be that he does not want to seem desperate, needy or too clingy by calling right away.
A quick call from you after a few days have gone by would resolve the uncertainty. If he is no longer interested, the message will come through loud and clear. No harm done. If he is interested, so much the better.
There is another possibility. He may fear that when he calls he will hear something like this; "David … David … the one from Harvard or Jamestown?" Or: "Tell me what you were wearing."
Men fear rejection. And many times we will take the easy way out to avoid it. Successful men have said – and I'm talking about men who swing enormous influence – that the fear of being rejected by women is the worst feeling of all, and that it never gets any easier to take the risk, from that first time in the seventh grade, asking the girl in math class to go to the square dance, to inviting the lady in the red dress to spend the weekend in Paris.
This fear stems from the basic importance of a man's ego. He feels exposed and vulnerable when he initiates a sexual encounter. Warren Farrell conducts seminars in which men get to play the traditional female parts and women take over social roles. Warren asks the men to stand up and turn around so that their bodies can be inspected from every angle. In his carefully orchestrated seminars, the women have to risk rejection, by asking the guys out to dinner. It makes for a very insightful situation. It becomes obvious to the power women have over men.