A breakup is never easy to cope with, but, if you want to learn how to get her back into your arms, you need to read this, do some planning and, of course, take action. Here are 6 steps that will put you on the right track:
1. Break contact. Reduce as much as you can or, if possible (i.e. you don’t live or work together), break any contact with her for at least 3 to 4 weeks. Easy stuff, right? Not really… This is going to hurt. And you are going to hate it because you will miss her very much. But, guess what… She’s going to miss you too. At this point, you should already have a better understanding of why arguing and asking for another “shot” usually doesn’t work. Give her the chance to miss you. Stop calling her. If you don’t give her the opportunity to feel alone, she won’t realize your value because you actually help her recover from the breakup faster (by being there for her even more than she needs you) and, eventually, move on with another guy.
2. Analyze your relationship and figure out what you did wrong. Think of the mistakes you’ve made and the reasons why she doesn’t want you back (not only the surface reasons she gave you). In many cases, women will tolerate a lot of crap from their partners without actually taking action and leaving the relationship as long as they still feel attracted to their men. If a loss of attraction is what happened between you and your ex, don’t worry too much. I have some other materials including a lot of techniques you can use immediately to make her feel attracted to you again.
3. Stop doing the obvious mistakes you’ve done in the past. If your relationship ended because you cheated on her or because you made some obvious mistakes, stop doing them, but, please, don’t call and tell her you’ve changed… Be patient and I’m going to show you how to make sure she will notice everything herself. If she figures out by herself that you’ve changed (instead of you telling her), she will defend that idea in her mind even if you mess up again. These psychological tricks are very powerful if you use them right. And I’m going to show you how.
4. Get your life back… starting right now. No woman wants a needy guy. So, pick up the phone and call your old friends RIGHT NOW. Go out and have some fun. Avoid drinking too much since you don’t want to be drunk dialing her (no calling her at all! Remember?)… It will freak her out. Force yourself to think of other girls (even hotter than her) every time you find yourself thinking of her again. Or, if that isn’t OK for you, think of what you would do with a million dollars etc.
5. If she doesn’t contact you after a month, try contacting her and have a light conversation. Don’t talk about your past relationship. Don’t brag about how many women you’re sleeping with or dating. Just let her know that you wanted to see if she’s ok, or something like that. Just keep it light and avoid falling into an argument with her or look like you’re desperate to see her.
6. Once you’ve established contact again, let her know that you think the breakup was for the good and that you don’t want to lose such a good friendship. Make your first date with her emotionally charged. I can hear you screaming right now… “What?! How do I get another date with her?” But if you carefully follow the step-by-step plan I have for you, getting another date with her is going to be a piece of cake.
Now, let me tell you what I mean by emotionally charged… Just “dinner and movie” won’t do the trick, because you lose on a sociologically proven principle:
Emotionally charged experiences = Bond
Also, taking her on a few “mini-dates” can do wonders for you relationship with her. This creates what I call “time distortion” and she will feel like she’s been with you forever after just a few hours with you.
Eventually, you will get to spend more time with her again and, if you’re prepared, you’ll have the chance to make her want you back.