Getting dumped is one of the worst things a guy can go through. Recently I saw a life stress ranking list, and having an intimate relationship end was actually listed as more stressful than serving a jail term. So if you’re ready to turn it around no matter how bad she dumped you, let’s get going…
The first step to getting your woman back is to re-establish your value. This is important because by far the most common mistake a guy makes at the end of a relationship is to become needy. He practically gets on his hands and knees and begs his woman to take him back, and unfortunately this has the exact opposite effect of pushing her away.
It’s simple human psychology, understood by any competent marketer or salesman: if something is in-demand and you have to work for it, you end up valuing it more. And unfortunately, when you become the crying man, pleading for your woman to take you back, she doesn’t exactly have to work for you.
You’ll have the best success, then, by re-establishing your value right away by sending your ex-girlfriend a handwritten cut-off note. Simply put, you tell her that you’re going to give her time and space apart from you, you agree with the break up, and you’re going to cut off communication with her for awhile so that both of you can have that healthy distance.
You end the note by saying that something exciting has happened in your life and you need to tell her about it sometime. This is extremely effective because it appeals to your ex’s sense of curiosity, which is the strongest human emotion there is. Later when it comes time to re-initiate communication with your ex, she will be unable to resist speaking with you again.
(By the way, my idea of a cut-off note works so well that I’ve seen another relationship “guru” steal it and claim it as his own.)
The second step is to build your attractiveness. I’ve identified 11 traits that women are attracted to, which I call the “Attraction Dials.” Your turn the dials, and you turn up the desire a woman has for you.
These Attraction Dials are as follows:
- Being a Leader — You talk and others (especially other men) listen.
- Masculine Good Looks — Women use the word “cute,” “handsome,” or even “hot” to describe you. They compliment you on various aspects of how you’re put together such as “nice shirt!”.
- Physical Health and Strength — You’re in shape.
- Confidence — You move through life with self-assurance, without fear of others
- Being Happy and Non-Needy — You have no need to pressure the woman or to
try to control her behavior.
- Having Other Women Interested in You — If a woman knows she’s got
competition to win you, then you look that much more appealing in her eyes.
- Being Popular — You have a large network of people you know.
- Being Interesting, Intriguing, Fun and a Captivating — You bring a huge relief
to a woman’s boring life.
- Being Assertive — You can protect those around you.
- Making Her Laugh — If a woman is laughing at what you say, it is psychologically
impossible for her to dislike you.
- Having Drive — You’re ambitious and have passions you’re pursuing
Step three is to identify the mistakes you made previously in the relationship and learn from them so that when you have the relationship re-run, you and your woman will stay together. After all, it isn’t any more fun being dumped a second time!
I’m drastically over-simplifying here, but the elements of a successful relationship are:
- You’re a man who is generally dominant rather than wish-washy, confident in himself, and an alpha male.
- You give your woman positive emotions.
- Emotionally, she needs you more than you need her. (You can stand on your own two feet and don’t need her to be your psychologist or mother-figure.)
- You have frequent and pleasurable physical relations with her.
Step four is to re-initiate communication with your woman after a full 21 days of keeping her 100% cut off from you. Then you get her to hang out with you so you can re-attract her.
In order to be able to meet with her, make sure to let her know that you’re totally fine with the break up and just want to be friends at this point. Be totally nonchalant and cool. You want her to wonder what’s changed and what’s going on with you.
Then when the two of you hang out, you turn her Attraction Dials and completely astound her and sweep her off her feet. I go into a lot more details in my book, but it’s as simple as that, and this is the closest thing to a foolproof system to re-attract your ex-girlfriend that you’ll ever find.