It happens all the time: the fighting and arguing leads to your girlfriend angrily breaking things off with you. She tells you she’d be better off alone, or that the two of you need some time apart, or that whatever you have just isn’t working. It doesn’t matter how your relationship ended; what matters is what you do to put it back together. If you want your ex back, the best course of action is sometimes doing less instead of more.
When a girl ends your relationship, she’s doing it for one of two reasons. Either she’s legitimately done with dating you, and truly wants to see other people… or she’s just so fed up with one or more aspects of your current relationship that she can’t continue it anymore. If your ex broke up with you due in this type of resigned, “we just don’t get along” matter, you might think the best thing to do is promise you’ll change for her. Maybe send her some flowers or write her some cards. Listen to the radio, pick out the songs that pertain to your relationship… show her the romance you were missing out on, so her heart will melt and she’ll fly back into her arms.
In actuality, these are the worst things you can do to fix a break up. Ironically, they’re also the most common avenues men take when trying to get back together with an exgirlfriend.
Sometimes, you need to call your girlfriend’s bluff. If she’s ranting and raving about something, it’s often good to let her get it out. Does she want her space? Give it to her. In fact, give her 10x more space than she ever asked for. By the time she realizes she’s 100% alone, she’s going to look at things a little differently. And when she doesn’t hear from you for a few days – no emails, no text messages, no contact with your exgirlfriend whatsoever? She’s going to do some hard thinking.
Playing games with your relationship is never the answer, but sometimes it’s best to give your ex time to think things through. Neither one of you can see the true nature of your relationship if you’re always arguing and fighting. So when she breaks up with you, the worst thing you can do is continue the battle… by fighting the break up. You’re not going to convince her to come back to you while you’re fighting to make her see things your way. Instead, calmly agree with her decision to end things. Wish her luck, and then walk away.
This type of reaction isn’t what your girlfriend expects, and it forces her hand. She must lay all her cards down on the table, because suddenly you’re not playing anymore. By removing yourself from the equation, you’re giving her time to take a long, hard, solo look at what the two of you had together. And even more important? You’re giving your ex-girlfriend the chance to miss you. When she’s lonely and needs you she’s going to reconsider her decision to break up. This won’t happen if you’re constantly begging or pleading for your relationship back.
Calling your girlfriend’s bluff is one of the best ways to get back an ex. It’s important to retain your dignity, and most of all, her respect. After seeing things through her own eyes – without you trying to interfere – any decision she makes to get back together will come from her own mind. This will be critical to building a future together.