Having Doubts in a Relationship?

Should you get involved with someone (or stay with someone) if you have serious doubts about the relationship? This can be a tricky question and can only be answered by you. This is because only you know what you are capable of living with. Wait a minute though-even if things seem unbearable now, you can always change the person, right? Then you can live happily ever after.

Sure you can. Whoever made gave you this pep talk was either in complete denial or was a licensed psychologist with decades of experience in psychosomatic therapy and reconditioning. How can you honestly expect to change a person and stop them from being who they are? Theoretically the only way to do this would be to torture and deprive a person until their mind snapped and they became your Stockholm Syndrome Sweety. Wait a minute. Have not you heard amazing true stories about how people have changed thanks to lots of love and support, the unwavering loyalty of a spouse, and the presence of Jesus Christ in their life? Sure you have, and consider that proof that Jesus still performs miracles today.

Seriously, it is next to impossible to change a person's behavior from what he or she is, into what you want him / her to be. You have no control over anyone besides yourself. You may be able to manipulate and influence people, but you will only be motivating them to take action. They always have the option of not listening to you, and when you realize that your partner has no intention of changing for you it can indeed be heartbreaking.

What you should be asking yourself is if you will be able to live with your partner with all of his or her flaws in tact. Sure, it would be great if this person made a positive change in life. However, what if they never do? What if this is all they will ever be for the rest of their lives? You have to live with that and you have to accept that.

Think long and hard about this one before getting seriously involved with someone. You can try and change that person all you want, right up to the brink of insanity, if you must. In the end, the only person who usually changes is you.



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