So you want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back after you cheated on her do you? No worries I will help you out.
The first thing to note, is that all is not lost here. Yeah you screwed up, but we are all human and make mistakes. You may be surprised to know that you are in a better position than someone who was dumped, because the attraction or spark had faded from their relationship.
So, try to keep your chin up and lets have a look at how to get your ex girlfriend back after you cheated on her.
First things first, you girl is gonna feel betrayed and hurt right now. I say this not to put you down, but to try and get you to understand how she is feeling. She is gonna say a lot of bad things, ask a lot of questions, shout, scream and yell.
I do not know what stage you are at, at the minute. Like, how long ago did she find out about the cheating?
Whatever that time period is, it is very important to take a step back in your relationship. Apologise once and once only for now. If you have been apologising repeatedly, just cut it out as soon as possible. If you are ever in contact with your girl again soon, it is best to be humble and say as little as possible.
She may start to shout and say bad things to you. Let her.
She may start to ask a lot of questions about why you cheated and ask about other details. Try not to answer these questions, because the more you say, the more you give your girl to use against you.
If you allow it, more questions and accusations will come at you. The best action you can take here is to get off-side and give your girlfriend some space. She is gonna rant and rave, so you might as well be out of harms way.
You may be wondering, how is running away going to help? All you want to know is how to get your ex girlfriend back after you cheated on her?
The reason for this, is that your girlfriend probably hates you right now. Being to close to her, is a recipe for disaster and can makes things worse.
What you are best doing is backing of, give her some space, to calm down and get over the initial hurt.
You should bear in mind that love and hate are very similar emotions. So cling onto that thought.
Now, when I say back of and give her space, I am talking about cutting contact completely. (Obviously you may have to have some contact for any bills, children and the like).
You will miss her of course, and this will be a tough time. But the key aim here, is that she will miss you to. This is a very subtle trick, but works like magic.
If you constantly apologise, try shower your girl with affection and send loads of gifts. You will only annoy your girlfriend and remind her what you did wrong.
But by cutting contact you will make her miss you and also create a sense of mystery. She will be wondering what you are doing and asking herself has she lost you for good?
Is she does this, you are in a great position!
How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back After You Cheated On Her
Now it is hard to know exactly when your girlfriend has calmed down and started to miss you. A good rule of thumb is to give her a month of no contact (or limited necessary only contact).
Yeah, I know a month sounds like a long time, when you are hurting and you just want to get your girl back. But unfortunately it is a necessary evil my friend.
She may contact you before the month is over. This is a good sign and shows that she misses you and may be wondering if she has lost you.
If she doesn’t contact you within the month, do not panic, the same rules apply to both cases.
Either way the first initial contact between the two of you is critical. You do not want to mess things up at this promising stage.
When you first speak to your girlfriend you should sound friendly but humble. Briefly ask how she is. Then suggest meeting up sometime to catch up. Note: you do not want to make this sound like a date.
So meeting up for something informal like lunch or coffee is ideal here. Stay away from dinners and other lengthy affairs.
Your girlfriend may say yes, which is great. She may say “hmmm I don’t know”. In this case say something like “c’mon it is only meeting up for coffee”.
If she says no, graciously accept this, let her know to contact you if she changes her mind, then say good-bye. What you often find here, is that she will phone you back fairly soon after. She probably just needed more time to think things over.
When you get to the stage of meeting up for the first time, you are in an absolutely fantastic position!
It is very possible to get to this stage if you follow the advice. However, you are still not quite home and dry yet. You can very easily mess things up at this stage, so please pay attention.
So, lets take a look at the final steps on how to get your ex girlfriend back after you cheated on her.
The first time you meet up with your girlfriend, will be a difficult one. You may want to grab her and hug her. But you have to be reserved slightly here, unless of course she initiates anything.
Be friendly, fun and try to focus on positive things. Do not start repeatedly apologising. If the subject of cheating comes up, apologise once and move on.
She may ask you questions about why and ask about other details. This is actually a good sign!
It shows that your girl is trying to justify and downplay the cheating in her head. However: Do not give her all the gory details.
While I do not condone lying, this is one of them times when altering the truth can help. Seriously. Trying to confess all of your sins to make yourself feel better is wrong here. It will only cause more heart-ache.
Instead learn to accept and live with what you did yourself. Give your girl some simple answers like: it was only one time; it meant nothing; was terrible; I do not even want to do it again.
The aim with this first meeting is to be as fun and friendly as possible and keep as much negative issues out of the conversation. You also want to keep the meeting relatively short. Allot yourself either half and hour or an hour.
Once this time is up, finish the ‘date’ and say your good-byes. Obviously do not just get up and run out the door. Try to leave things on a good positive note.
There is one final issue to be VERY careful with:
When leaving the meeting on good terms, wish your girlfriend all the best, but do not try to arrange another date just yet. (Unless she suggests it of course).
If she does not say about meeting up again, neither do you!
Instead pleasantly walk away and leave things as they are. What you will be doing here, is using a sneaky psychological trick. That will create a sense of mystery and curiosity of what is happening in your relationship.
This is very attractive in the minds of girls!
You can of course contact your girlfriend in a few days to see about meeting up again. But you will be in a very better position at this stage, believe me.
Did this article help you out any?