Does your boyfriend stare at other women? Here is a letter from someone who is struggling with this problem:
My boyfriend is always staring at other women . He does not just casually look. He stares. When we go out to dinner, or any other place, if there is a pretty girl around, his head turns like it is on a swivel. I have mentioned this to him several times but he still does it. I feel guilty saying anything because he is generally a nice guy. Most people do not understand why I am upset. Sometimes, I can feel myself getting mad but he does not seem to notice. What should I do? Is this all my problem? Should I leave him alone about this? Sometimes I think that if he keeps this up, I do not want to be with him.
Men who blatantly look at other women while they are out with their girlfriend often do not understand how hurtful their actions are. This is a sore spot for more than one couple. In a lot of cases, women think men are held hostage to their hormones and just can not help looking at other women. Men think that if they are only "looking", no harm is done. Some women do not find this behavior offensive; some women get their feelings hurt but do not do anything about it; and some women complain about it, but nothing changes.
So what can you do if your favorite guy has laser eyes – and they are not on you?
· Tell him what you have noticed and how it makes you feel. Tell your guy that he can do whatever he wants but if he'd like you in his life, he will have to alter his behavior.
· Explain to him that what he is doing is insensitive to you.
· After you tell him, notice if he continues the same behavior, or if he is more caring and aware than he was before.
· If his actions change, let him know that you noticed and you appreciate it.
If you continue to date someone who stares, ogles, or leers at other women while he is with you, ask yourself the following questions:
1. Why would you allow yourself to be with someone who acts in ways that diminish you?
2. What keeps you from speaking up?
3. What other areas in your life do you let people treat you like you are not there and your feelings do not matter?
I think you can trust your reaction to your boyfriend's staring, which is, you do not want to be there. That is a healthy response to what is probably unconscious behavior on his part. If you think you could like this guy, sit him down, remove all distractions like cell phones and TV, and try once more to tell him how you feel. You must let him know that he is pushing you away and that soon, you may not be there. Do not use words that will confuse him, in an effort to be nice. You need him to understand what you are saying. Sometimes, guys do not get it until it is too late.
You deserve someone who is kind, attentive, and caring. This is a perfect time to let him and the world know, the only girl you want your guy looking at – is you.