Your girlfriend has stopped talking to you. For a few moments this may seem like something of a blessing, particularly if it comes in the middle of a heated discussion. Any other time it’s going to raise some serious concern from you, as it should. Part of being in a healthy, balanced and fulfilling relationship is spending time talking to your significant other on a daily basis. If several days pass and there’s no word from the woman you’re involved with, a major red flag should be flying above your head. Your relationship is careening quickly towards disaster. If you don’t fully grasp what it means when your girlfriend suddenly fades into the distance, now is the time for you to gain some much needed insight into what she’s thinking and feeling.
If your girlfriend has suddenly dropped out of sight and you haven’t heard a word from her, think back to the last time the two of you did talk. Chances are very good that you both left things on difficult terms. Sometimes an argument can get so out of hand that one person storms out and if two strong personalities are involved, each may decide to wait for the other to make the first post conflict move. Your girlfriend may simply be simmering down from the verbal sparring match you two had. If that’s the case my best suggestion is to wait at least a few days for her to sort through her feelings. Trying to get her to talk before she’s ready will probably just cause more friction and misunderstanding and you’ll be right back to where you started with her ignoring you.
If her silence has been more of a gradual thing, that needs to be handled in quite a different way. When a woman pulls back slowly from the man she’s involved with it’s because she feels there’s an emotional distance there. Just as some men don’t want to deal with the emotional ramifications of a confrontation about what’s missing from the relationship or what’s wrong with the connection, women don’t enjoy that either. Your girlfriend may feel that by slipping into the ether she’ll be saving you from the heartbreak you surely would feel if she boldly told you that she’s just not that into you anymore. You may view this as a cowardly way to end a relationship but if you’re an emotional guy it may be that she sees it as her only way to get out emotionally unscathed.
In any case, you can’t just allow the woman you love to disappear without at least trying to understand her reasoning. Don’t make the mistake of approaching her with the attitude that you had no idea she wasn’t happy or satisfied. Her silence is indication enough that she’s not getting what she needs from you anymore. Tell her that you know that she’s not feeling the way she used to and you just want to understand. Don’t get defensive and don’t try to explain anything at this time. This is her opportunity to share what she is experiencing and what she feels is lacking. If you handle this conversation from a place of understanding and compassion, she’ll see that you really do want to hear what she has to say and you want to learn from it.
Reacting negatively when your girlfriend stops talking to you is the quickest route towards a painful break up with her. This is the woman you adore so show her that’s what you feel. If you reach out to her and give her the support she needs to be honest with you about what she’s currently feeling, she’ll open up and the deafening silence will be replaced with honest and understanding.