What if you have never had a girlfriend before? Common things I see when guys call the dating and relationship radio show that I co-host are:
1. A lot of guys in this boat are introverted and shy. To the point of extreme anxiety. You know that she wants a confident man but when just talking to her gives you a "flight or fight" reaction then it is tough to portray confidence. Women do not respond to fear, as you well know.
2. Negative thinking. When you have been down for so long, it is easy to fall into the "well, she is just going to reject me anyway" line of thinking. Guys who have never had a girlfriend before are more comfortable living in a negative world because it is safe for them. They do not have to risk anxiety and rejection and they can confirm the negative pattern that is imprinted on their brains.
What can you do about it?
First of all, are you portraying the best physical appearance you can possibly portray? Teeth clean? Nails short? Wearing appropriate and stylish clothes with matching colors? Do you keep yourself at a healthy weight by eating right and working out? Comb your hair (or if bald like me, is your head shiny enough, ha)? Are there any physical defects you can correct like too much coffee stains on your teeth?
You do not need to have movie star looks to get a girlfriend but you do need to be the best YOU can be physically.
As far as the mental part goes, the best thing you can do is grow a personality.
Take improvisation classes or acting classes to improve your humor, get into a public speech class to improve comfort in front of strangers, maybe go see someone with a sheepskin on their wall if your anxiety is so over the top you can not communicate with people and never take women personally.
The biggest key to dating and relationships is keeping it light and funny. Learn to just relax throughout the whole process.
Keep this in mind. If I told you that I would give you a million dollars to approach a lady at a party you found attractive, would you care if you got rejected or not? No. You would be looking to get paid by me no matter what she said to you.
So, just relax. Women respond to a guy that is fun to be around and does not worry about whether or not she will go out with him again.
Dating is like sales. Sometimes you have to endure a ton of rejection before you get the sale but remember, you just need one good account to make it all worth it.
Never give up and do what you need to do to get yourself in the proper place both mentally and physically and you give yourself the best chance to get a girlfriend.