I am a very private person. I dated a man that claimed that he was a very private person as well. The only difference that separates us when talking about privacy was our character. Character is often explained so clearly as… “it’s what you do when you think no one is looking.” I can honestly say that there is really nothing that I did while we were together that I could not openly discuss with him. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for his actions during our eight year relationship. Private to him is having many “secret” relationships (many were sexual too), not-disclosing or even acknowledging his relationship status on Facebook (eight years, not a picture of me and him insight anywhere), establishing online dating accounts and online relationships (every time we get into an argument), etc. I do not have a name. I do not exist. If you are truly in love, would you not profound the love of your life? Today’s social media makes it difficult to have a one-on-one relationship. You are in constant competition of the “likes” and as a woman, I can not compete with your 1,879 FB friends. And when caught, it’s the “I am a man” excuse. Because you are a man gives you the right to have sexual relationships and make it excusable?
See, there is a big distinction between private and sneaky. Private to me is keeping my business within my own backyard because it is no one’s business except for the people that are involved. With that said, he’s just plain sneaky.
Living separate lives is sneaky. The life without a girlfriend and the life with a girlfriend when it is convenient for him. He has an innate character to hide things even when it’s not a big deal. In our life together, I have been asked to join him only at events when it involves his family which I can count on one hand. After eight years, you would think I would have joined him at a social event that he was invited to, right? He attends and “forgets” to mention it. And when he slips up, he makes me seem like I am the crazy one as I am being invading his privacy. A relationship is sharing your life. It does not mean I have to be a part of every activity but to exclude me, makes you sneaky. To not share sometimes is simply a lie in disguise.
And if you are wondering, we are not together today…