Love stinks. At least, that is about the best way that most people can find to sum it up when they find themselves exiting a relationship or trying to get over one.
Of course, the love you had for your ex didn’t always feel like a bad thing. Rather, there was a time way back when that love was something to get excited about. It was the thing that made life pulse through your veins. It made life worthwhile – a reason to get out of bed and face the day.
In fact, it may be that because love can bring us to such high highs that it also can dash us on the rocks, forcing us into some of the lowest lows we can experience emotionally. It is almost like a drug that we have to try to get over.
Getting over a love relationship that has ended badly can be one of the hardest things we can do. There is no simple, quick fix when it comes to overcoming those deep feelings of love and caring that we harbor for that special person. However, there are proven techniques for finding ways to move forward in your life.
If you are interested in recovering from a long-term relationship breakup, here are 5 thinks to think about:
1. Come to terms with how you feel right now (hint: be specific and be honest with yourself):
The wisest and healthiest thing you can do right now is to ground yourself in your current state of feelings – in the moment. Take a quick inventory of your emotional state and write down how you are feeling. Be as specific as possible, and be as honest as you can with yourself. Nobody will read this but you!
2. How do you feel about your ex?
Now, switch gears a bit and write out about how you are feeling about your ex. No doubt you are feeling a complex combination of lots of different feelings at once. That is okay! Do not try to make sense of it. Just write it out and see where it leads.
3. Think about what you want to happen next in your life:
Now, speaking not just about your romantic relationships but rather in general, write down what you want to see happen in your life. Where do you want to live? What kind of work do you want to do? And, of course, how does your ex (or someone else you know or whom have not yet met) fit into your life in the way you are envisioning it now?
4. Decide whether it makes sense to continue to have your ex in your life:
Now, go back and read everything you have just written. Think about whether it still makes sense to have your ex in your life. What you just may realize is that, once you separate your complex emotions about your ex from your vision for your own future, your ex may not play quite as large of a role as you had thought. On the other hand, you may realize anew that your ex needs to be in your life.
5. If you believe you should still be together, put together a plan to get him or her back into your life:
If you conclude that your ex does still very much have a place in your life – and if you believe there may be a chance yet for the two of you to be together again – it is time to put together a plan to make it happen.
Think about these 5 things as you go through recovering from a long-term relationship.