What is "State" When You Are Meeting Women?

Natural game centers around “state” and how to be in it for long periods of time. When you are in “state,” you are at your absolute best. You are confident, in the moment and are a risk taker. Needless to say, women will dig this version of you. What exactly does it feel like to be in state? When you are in state, you have a surge of positivity, steadiness and dominance. Everything clicks. Most importantly, you become the source of good emotions in your environment.

On the other hand, when you are out of state you feel incomplete. You feel anxiety and unnatural to the point where everything feels off. If you ever feel robotic and are inside of your head, you are probably out of state. If you are not thinking and just doing, you are probably in state.

Ultimately, your identity tells you when you are and are not allowed to be in state. It really is, to an extent, a decision on your part whether or not you are in state.

In general, guys tend to give themselves permission to go into state depending on the situation they are in. This is called having “situational confidence”. This tends to happen when a guy has his friends around, can do something that he knows other people will like, playing a guitar or is playing some kind of role such as teacher-student. Another type of guy goes into state because it is just a part of his identity.

Being confident about himself and his place in the world is just who he is, he tends to be in state a lot. This is what it means to have “core confidence”. It is next to impossible to reach the level of permanent state. Even the most devoted monk who totally isolates himself from all negative things has days where he does not feel like a million dollars. That said, it is possible to be in state a lot. This requires identity-level and potentially life-level change.

The ultimate root of situational as opposed to core confidence is the ego- that imaginary sense of self that you have. It is your ego that compares you to other people and judges what is good and bad. Having an ego is not a bad thing.

The problem comes when you take it too seriously. When you are at a club with no friends, the reason you feel out of state is partly because of your biology and partly because you are attached to your ego, which is telling you that you should not be in state.

Being in state more often requires you to drop your attachment to the ego. Only then will you give yourself permission to be in state and take chances. Of course, dropping your ego means that you do not care if you screw up and at times look like a fool.

This is a process that takes potentially a whole lifetime. It can only be done by pushing your comfort zone, exposing yourself to rejection and gaining social experience. That really is the only path to core confidence and consistent state.



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