What to Say in Your First Online Dating Message

Online dating is a relatively new addition to the realm of romance. As with many other things that have become more difficult in this fast paced world, people can now date from the comfort of their own home. Instead of kissing hundreds of frogs looking for her prince, a woman can scroll through pages of online profiles in order to find Mr. Right. While others spend hours at the local bar scanning for potential dates, online daters do power searches to find people with similar interests to their own. The introduction of online dating services has streamlined the dating process to a degree. While the anonymity of browsing through the profiles of others might sound much less stressful than face to face meetings, eventually the timeless pressures of dating come into play.

Though the desire to be impressive, flirtatious, and desirable still exists, online daters must achieve this through written rather than spoken form. Caught somewhere between a first meeting and a first date, your online dating first message needs to be pretty well thought out. Since a message is not a direct back and forth conversation it is important to structure the message so that the content is both casual yet informative.

Firstly it is important to let the person receiving the message know that its writer is interested in them. The very sending of the message pretty much lets this be known but no one really tires of being told they are attractive and desirable. While it is good to let the object of desire know that they are of interest, it is equally important to make sure the message does not come off as a creepy solicitation. Being flirtatious through a typed note is tricky so remaining more matter of fact is not a bad path to take. Without being textbook dry, let the person know, that you are interested, what about them particularly grabbed your attention, a little bit about yourself, and that you are interested in possibly going on a date.

While online dating services allow its members to avoid the stress of numerous pointless conversations with people trolling bars for mates, they also put people at the disadvantage of not really knowing how the people they are interested in act. Online dating first messages need to try and reflect the author's true voice and character as much as possible so that the recipient can get a better idea of ​​who they might be meeting. Busting out a thesaurus while writing the message will not do that person any favors when they are actually on the date and can only speak monosyllabically. The first messages sent online adhere to the same paradoxical guidelines that define dating, be interested without being too eager, charming but not cheesy, funny but not trying too hard, smart but not a know it all.

Online dating has concentrated the dating pool, but the same basic rules apply. Just as a first conversation is planned out, the first message one dater sends to another online must be carefully constructed, but of course, not too carefully. The balancing act never ceases.

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