When a guy stops calling you, it is hard to understand what is going on. This is possibly one of the most common sources of frustration for women during dating. You meet a man and everything is going along just fine. You’re enjoying his attentions and you feel like you’ve met “the one”. He seems so into you. Then, all of a sudden, and for no apparent reason, your guy stops calling you and virtually disappears out of your life. When this happens, your life instantly turns upside down and you don’t know what to do. You call, you text, you leave messages but all in vain. When you finally catch up with him the relationship is on the verge of falling apart.
Generally with a man you have recently met, the frequency with which he calls bears a direct relationship to how attracted he is feeling towards you. So, if he starts to call less, he may be starting to feel less attraction. So what is the reason for this?
Generally the main reason why a guy stops calling and does a disappearing act is that he has suddenly realised that you are in much deeper than he is, and he is starting to feel smothered or trapped. Perhaps you are just not giving him enough space. His reaction may have been triggered by something you did, or something you said about your relationship or what you wanted for the future, or it may have been triggered by him feeling in some way pressured into giving you more than he wants to give at this point. When a guy stops calling you, his withdrawal response is his way of not allowing you to get in any deeper into your relationship delusions. You thought you’d met “the one”, but obviously he’s not quite ready for that yet. Men generally do not commit very early on as women seem to do.
Some of the triggers for when a man stops calling are changes in the relationship which make it less fun. Examples are expressions of being needy, demanding or overbearing, sleeping with him too soon, having “the talk” and generally letting the relationship become more serious and heavy than he wants. All these actions will kill some of the attraction that he feels for you. His discomfort is based on your expectation of a commitment before he has decided that he is ready for this. He may not always be consciously aware exactly how he feels, he only knows that he feels uncomfortable in your presence at the moment and he stops calling you to avoid this feeling.
OK, so you want to keep him, even though he’s not sure if you’re the one for him, so how are you going to rescue your relationship? Well, the main factor here is going to be patience. You now need to pull back and let him go his own way for a little while. Give him some space and don’t get in touch so that he will feel less pressured and, in time, will start to miss you.
Now I know that this is going to be really hard but when a guy stops calling you, the only way to keep him is to let him go for a while. You must realise that desperation is only going to drive him further away. Resurrect some of those hobbies and friends that you sidelined when you met him, whilst you work on your plan to get back in his good books. When you do finally hear from him or get in touch, make sure you keep it lighthearted and don’t let on that you’ve been missing him. If you get another chance, take it more slowly this time and give him more space. Let him set the pace and watch to see whether he really is the man you want to be with.