Breaking up… some people say the best way to do it is like ripping off a Band-Aid, all at once. Sure it hurts like hell, but it seems the best way to get over someone after dating for a while.
Yet for most couples, breaking up can take a very long time – or even a few times, to boot. Chances are you know more than a few people who’ve broken up, gotten back together, and then parted ways again, and again, and again.
So what does it mean when your ex is still calling you up after the breakup? Did they have something else to say? Do they want their stuff back? Or is your ex boyfriend or girlfriend calling you for an even more hidden reason?
Your Ex Calling After The Breakup – What They Really Want
Essentially, there are two types of breakups. One of them is serious, and that’s the one where your ex boyfriend or girlfriend barely looks back. You don’t get any calls, you don’t get any text-messages, and your email inbox is barren and empty. Maybe your ex severs electronic ties as well, such as MySpace or Facebook. The point here, is that this person is looking to break up for real. They’re not playing games, or thinking about getting you back.
The other type of breakup is where your ex is actually hedging his or her bets. They want the freedom to be single again, but they also want the reassurance of knowing you’re not too far away. This is where your ex will keep you within easy reach, by one or more of the following:
* Your ex boyfriend or girlfriend keeps calling, for different reasons, after the break.
* Your ex gives you the “let’s be friends speech”.
* Your ex writes innocently on your Facebook wall, updates your MySpace page, etc…
* Your ex keeps in touch with your friends, and keeps asking about you.
In every case, your ex is really trying to do one thing: keep tabs on you. They want to know what you’re doing (and who you’re doing it with) for some very specific reasons, and all of those reasons involve keeping you from losing interest.
In more obvious cases, your ex might even tell you they still love you, or have unresolved feelings. When you press to get back together they’ll start to pull away, but this is only because they’d like to keep the breakup going while they decide what to do.
The truth is, your ex still calls because he or she isn’t ready to lose you. They might’ve initiated the break, but they might also be unsure of it. If you can recognize this, getting your ex back becomes a whole lot easier. You can use their existing feelings to draw them back in, provided you know what to do next.
What To Do When Your Ex Calls You Up
Handling the ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend phone call isn’t always cut and dry, but the one thing you need to do is stay calm. Getting too excited can really put your ex off, and they might immediately mark you as desperate to hear from them. You don’t want this.
Instead, play it cool. If your ex texted you, don’t respond right away. If your ex left a message, take your time in calling them back… or don’t call back at all and let them dial your number a second time. If they’re serious about getting back in touch with you, they will.
In the end, reversing an unwanted breakup is all about getting your ex to chase YOU. This is vitally important, because it strengthens any reconciliation you might have when your ex actually came looking for you, instead of you running after them.