You’re dating someone, things are going good, and then suddenly your girlfriend stops you dead in your tracks with those sweet little words:
“I think we should just be friends”
As your stomach lurches, your mind starts racing with a thousand thoughts per second. What happened? Did I do something wrong? Does she not like me? Does she like someone else?
Whenever a girl tries to transition your relationship from romance to friendship, it’s a really bad scenario. There’s something going on that needs to be quickly addressed or you’ll lose her rather quickly. While some guys might give up at this point and think they’ve already lost here, there are still a few things you can do to keep your girlfriend from breaking up with you. The right moves, made immediately, can help halt the breaking up process and actually reverse her thinking.
Establishing a friendship with your ex is never a good solution, even when she claims it to be temporary. “Let’s be friends” is her way of letting you down easy. Sorry to be brutally honest here, but in truth, she wants to do something else (or someone else) right now. When she adds “for a while” or “let’s take a break for now” onto the end of that sentence, she’s trying to let you down even easier. It’s cowardly in a way, because she’s not being honest with you… or herself.
It’s too hard for your ex to say “Hey listen, I want to do other things, date other people. Let’s go our separate ways”. That’s something that would hurt you for sure, but at least you’d know where you stood. Instead, she’s taken the “friends” route because it’s easier on you… but that’s not the half of it. It’s also easier on her. And you know why? Because being friends with you gives her the ever-comfortable option of getting back together again, should her new prospect not pan out the way she thought it would.
You cannot agree to friendship with your ex.
It’s a sucker move, and it’ll put you into a situation from which you’ll never get out of. She’s going to see you in a platonic role, more and more each day, and there’s virtually no way of getting back into a romantic light again. When your ex asks to be friends, it’s always best to refuse such an offer. Tell her no, firmly but gently. Then tell her why you can’t be friends with your ex: because you love her too much. Let her know that you think of her on levels that have nothing to do with friendship, and everything to do with a relationship. Tell her you’re not going to cover up your feelings and put a smile on your face every day, pretending not to love her when you really do. Then tell her that she can’t have some of you… it’s all or nothing. It’s a relationship or it’s nothing, and that’s how it has to be.
Your girlfriend doesn’t expect you to react like this. She wants to stay friends with you to keep her options open. Losing you so completely, and so immediately, was not something she wanted. Going away and leaving her alone, to her own thoughts, will always produce the same reaction: she’ll think about you, miss you, and question her decision to end the relationship. Do this, and your ex will have to decide between having you in her life as a boyfriend, or losing you completely for good.
When your girlfriend says let’s be friends, you have to immediately take action. Being proactive is the only way to stop the break up from happening, and you need to make all the right moves. Making the wrong ones during this critical time can spell the difference between keeping her in your life or losing her to someone else.